I love this season. 

Tomorrow my favorite month beings, November. 

And then Thanksgiving is near by...

eeeep, can't begin to even explain my excitement!

Dream and do

Ain't nothing wrong with the fact I'm a dreamer;

Just gotta keep in mind that not only should I be a dreamer but a doer as well. 

College?

You know what I hate?

I hate the fact that we are all forced to grow up. I mean, yes of course we get older, but I hate this whole "I'm a senior in high school, let me decide my career for the rest of my life right now!"

Like gosh darn it, what the hell is that?

What I am trying to say is that it is complete stupidity. I understand, if you are ready, then go on and pursue it.

But, I am in college right now.. and I sure as heck feel like I don't belong here.

I think people need to explore the world, to really get a personal experience of the world and of God.

I still feel like I've got a few things to figure out before I can be 'serious' about college.

Now, I am not saying I am lazy.. no no no.. What I am saying is, I just want to be me. Not what society wants or expects of me.

To be completely honest, I know I can successful without college. I got dreams and passions that can be achieved without going in debt.

Idk man, I'm just sayin. 

Make It Happen

Look at me;

I'm not gonna be here for much longer. It's time to get away from this hell. 

I can't make steps forward and I'm not going back either. I'm just stuck here and I can't stay this way. 

I've looked at these four walls with tears all my life. 

It's been and still is tearing me apart. 

I'm going to find a way to be on my own away from here. I don't care how hard it will be to get there.. I'm going to make it happen. I've been in this bubble far too long.This pain, this annoyance has gotten to be too much. 

Constantly I am thinking about them and hoping they are okay but it kills me again and again in the end.

Fuck this, I'm taking steps.. I'm gonna move forward and I don't care about what anyone has to say. This is MY life and it's time I feel happy, genuinely happy in the place I call home/

Make Moves

Life's been pretty interesting lately. 

I started to classes up again recently and as I figured, I'm extremely busy. Still find my ways to spend time with those that I love. 

I haven't been able to go hiking as often and I honestly miss it so much. I just want to take a few days off and spend it in the forest. Alone tho. I think that's what I really need right now. To be alone with God, in the midst of His creation.

My mind has always been at war.. and yes you got it, it's at war as we speak. 

I know what's expected of me, but the pressure is hard.

I'm trying to figure out if that's what I want too.. not just what others want. 

I need to figure things out and make moves cause what I'm facing is something to not mess with.

Sigh, life. 

Man-made

I love the city.

But, I could never live there. Way too much man made.

I'd rather wake up every morning and see God's creation instead of man's.

I hope that one day, God-willing, I will be able to own, with my future spouse, a big piece of land by some mountains.

Our house will be located far away from society. But not too far where we have to travel miles.

I want to be able to hike everyday of my life.

I want to be able to worship God in His creation and in peace.

Theres something about the forest that makes my heart want to sing. 

Stop

Stop

That's what was been ordered and told of me to do. I'm battling this so hard man. It's getting too tough. I've got one foot in the world and the other somewhere else. I've become lukewarm. This is not what I want of my life.

Lord I need You here, I need You. Fill me with You presence. Forgive me for my wrong doings.

He never lets His children stray far away... How great is His love for us